The definition of insanity is ‘doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results’.
Putting this into personal terms, let’s see where we might be doing this.
Let’s look into the past for a moment.
Imagine a Family Holiday dinner celebration in your youth. Try to remember everything you can.
What did you love? What are you nostalgic for?
And, what is not fun to remember?
I’m not asking you to plunge into grief and horror, if your holidays were like mine, but recalling the best bits and the not best bits.
Now come forward into time and find some scenes in your 20s, 30s, 40s, if you are so lucky to be that distinguished age.
Best bits and not best bits.
Shake it off, giving thanks to your past for making you into the amazing ball of humanity you are!
And let’s think about what you’d love the holidays to look like this year.
What elements would you like to experience? Community, laughter, connection, fun, games?
How can you make that happen?
For example if your family Christmas dinner was a tremendous amount of hard work for DAYS but a gobbling of delicious food in 15 minutes. Great fun with the cousins playing a new game, but all of us waiting for the fireworks to start signaled by raised voices at the adults table.
The day would end in chaos, tears and exhaustion for the next week.
Year after year, we looked forward to Christmas. Year after year this scenario played out. It’s as if we kept expecting a different family to show up. The definition of insanity.
My elders are all dead, and we are scattered all over. But I don’t want to feel so isolated, I’d love to feel more connected. I was thinking for myself that I could make an effort to connect with the cousins that wanted to via some Zoom calls.
How about you? If you have family that can feel wackadoodle after spending too much time, maybe mini Zoom parties with a time limit.
This is a very good year to send actual cards in the mail! With a heartfelt note. Support the post office and your best self.
Maybe things start to snowball and get crazy assed busy. How about Make your holiday gift shopping list NOW. Don’t wait for the Black Friday death crush.
Start with the most obvious ones. Partner, kids, parents, besties.
Put down ideas for the gift you think you’d like to get them.
If you don’t have ideas, ask them! Ask them to make an Amazon list you can see. I SO wish my family would ask me!
Have you been getting lame gifts from your loved ones? Dude, they cannot read your mind. Maybe you think they SHOULD know what you want.
But remember the definition of insanity?
Once I realized that, and I refuse to be a victim, to harbor resentments, and am going to be proactive… I have started a list myself. Not huge expensive things, but maybe a book I’d love to read, or a new pot/casserole dish in a pretty color I’d love.
I may have played a telepath on TV but I am NOT able to read people’s minds and I’d love to give what they’d love rather than what I’D love, know what I mean, Jellybean?
When you get a gift that really lights you up, how do you feel? Thrilled, loved, seen, appreciated? How do you act? Very grateful, jump up and down, smother them with kisses/hugs/high fives? Pee a little?
How do you think THEY feel when they see you so happy?
Right. It’s a WIN/WIN.
AND by starting now, you have some control over time. Pick a day and schedule a hour a week to do some shopping. Take control! You can DOOOO EEEEEET!
Looking at your career/work/money goals, where could you be doing the same thing, expecting different results?
Are you facing another year of the same ol’ same ol’?
UGH.
OR are you like me and trying to reinvent yourself in this time of Covid?
By now you know what I am going to suggest, meditate on it. Write it down before you meditate then clear the mind. See what shows up during the week.
I’ll have more suggestions for you but start here. Next week we will talk MORE.
EXTRA CREDIT:
On your calendar, mark down when you’d have a zoom party (you can adjust it but make a commitment).
What ideas do you have that you can do to make it fun? What would you need to get /make/ prepare?
Put it on the calendar. Make it pretty!
What does the actual holiday you celebrate look like? How can you make it joyous?
Have a It’s A Wonderful Life watch party? Put it down!
BONUS: Decide right now, what you can do to change your work/career/ money situation for the better, even if it’s a leap! We will talk about that together.
Thanks for reading! #Loveyoumeanit!
